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  • Helen

Bloom

Updated: Aug 27, 2019

I’ve been struggling with depression for quite some time now. I didn’t understand my purpose in life and had a deep hatred for myself. It’s been a very lonely and dark place. To bloom is beautiful, but it is not easy. I had to look deep within myself in order to pull myself out of it. It’s a tough road that I’m still trying to navigate through. I may not be where I want to be, but I thank God I am not where I used to be. 


Everything I thought I wanted out of life, was not what I needed in my life. Success, money, approval, fame, likes, or views does not validate my worth. Whether I can take this far or not, doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that I just did it. Singing my heart out for the world to hear. I do it out of pure love for the art of music. It’s a feeling like no other. When music flows through me, it’s like nothing else matters. It moves my mind, body, and soul before I even have time to think. And when I think of happiness for myself, I think of music. I don’t need much in life, and music is more than enough for me. 


So thank you God, my beautiful family, friends, and producers. I wouldn’t be here today without you all, and I am so deeply grateful. Your gentle kindness, unconditional love, and support has meant the world to me. 


I also want to thank my baby sister, Teresa, especially. You are my confidante, my best friend. You are the reason I believe God is real. I remember that one time you were just being your normal silly self and made me laugh. It may seem so trivial, but I can’t thank you enough for that moment and all the times you were there for me. When all I felt was sadness, pain, and anger, I didn’t even think I was capable of feeling joy anymore. That moment of laughter with you made me realize that I never really wanted to die. More than anything, I wanted to feel alive.


They say the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. I was born on Saturday April 27th, 1991 at 1:26pm. Today, I reclaim my life back.


Please do more of what makes your soul come alive. It doesn't always feel like it's the right moment, but I promise it's always a happy moment when you just do it. Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. My prayers are with you all.


As always, thank you 🖤